Windows only IT departments don't know shit

[choasforages]

def, system administartor

anybody that can read the BOFH and at first think they are reading email from a fellow admin

[danb00]

my school is, should i say has about 60 Mac's 4 Majour Linux servers, with about 20 linux boxes), and about 500 winblows pc's.

Well anyway, when u go and use a mac, 1 never, never see a busted mac.
When i look at linux, no problems.

But when i look at winblowz i see out of order, mouse not working, and a load of crap.

The it techs are kn***. They though was uploading a virus to there comps, but what i was doing was making a pop up program in notpad.

Then what pisssed me of is, they had screen shots of me doing it, which proved my inocence, but did  they show erm to dep head no!!!

So anyway i got banned from the comps for 2 months for that.

And got pissed of with them that one night after school i found out the it techs password, and changed all longin numbers with the windows Nt trojan!

And it took erm ages to figure it out, but by then i had created a hidden admin account,a nd still use it today (after to months) so it proves how crap windows is!!

[SAJChurchey]

The school system that I went to HS in ran all Windows 98...How secure is that?  

They tried to lay this crap on me for "computer trespass" because I was browsing the shared crap on the network and found social security numbers and personal pictures of the administrators and stuff.  It's not my fault they fully shared their entire hard drives, and that every folder on every computer was accesible to me.  I didn't "trespass" on anything. It's not like I was searching for "hidden" files or anything.

[avello500]

fett that is a hilarious link. im hooked.

[Calum]

that link is excellent!      

quote:    *  Customer: "YOU GAVE ME A VIRUS!"
    * Tech Support: "I don't think I've got a virus."
    * Customer: "Go download [a brand of virus checker], and you'll see."

Sometime later I dutifully ran the checker.

    * Tech Support: "Ok, I ran it. No virus."
    * Customer: "You MUST have a virus. You gave it to me. It was all over my system. You must not have run the checker properly." (yell, rant, rave, repeat checks, etc)
    * Tech Support: "How did I give it to you?"
    * Customer: "On those floppies with the latest revision of the software you wrote."
    * Tech Support: "The ones you just returned?"
    * Customer: "Yeah."
    * Tech Support: "Just a sec...let me check those." (pause) "Well, I found a virus on the disks. Ahem...seems you were about to pass a virus on to ME."
    * Customer: "Ah...lemme get back to you." (click)

And for those guys who got bullied by their schools, if you can see a file, you have the right to in my opinion. if somebody wants to protect data, they should protect it and not waste their time shouting about how rude it is of people to view it. stands to reason. shouting's a waste of time if they haven't even secured their data.
   

quote:Two girls walked into the University's Linux cluster one time. They were obviously unfamiliar with computers and chatted with each other trying to figure everything out. I was doing my own work and had tuned out a lot of the conversation, but at one point one of them turned to me and asked how to get into Windows. "Type startx," I replied, for the Linux machines booted to a shell prompt, and you had to type "startx" to get into X-Windows. I never did find out if that worked for them or not, but they spent quite some time trying to correlate the instructions they had on paper (presumably given out in one of their classes) with what they were seeing on the screen. A full hour and a half passed, and finally one of them turned to me again and asked if this was the Microsoft Windows cluster. "No," I replied, "that's downstairs." It was hard to stifle the laughter until they were gone. An hour and a half before they realized they weren't even using the right operating system. Wow.

   

quote:The place where a friend of mine works was going through the process of upgrading all of their computers. On one computer in particular, they had determined they needed more memory. One of the senior partners got it into her head that they needed more "Meg." My friend tried to tell her that what they needed was RAM, but she insisted that the machine had plenty of RAM and that they needed more Meg -- specifically, about 16 megabytes of Meg. He got tired of arguing with her and said to go down to the computer store and buy some Meg.

She came back with an envelope with RAM in it -- on the envelope was written "16 megabytes of Meg."

"The salesman tried to tell me the same thing you did," she told my friend, "but then he went and talked to his manager, and he set him straight. Now go install this Meg."

that site really is fantastic!      

 

quote:#  Customer: "I need to print out my letter here."
# Me: "Ok, what program did you use to create it?"
# Customer: "Macintosh!"
# Me: "No, what actual program did you use. Was it MacWrite? Claris?"
# Customer: "Microsoft."
# Me: "OK, you used Microsoft Word. We have that here, so go ahead and sit down at one of these Macs."
# Customer: "It wasn't Microsoft Word. It was Windows!"
# Me: "I need to know what kind of computer you used. Was it a Macintosh or an IBM?"
# Customer: "I don't think it was an IBM."
# Me: "It could be an IBM compatible. Do you remember anything about what kind of computer it was?"
# Customer: "Microsoft!"
# Me: "Did the computer have a little apple on the front of it?"
# Customer: "I think so."
# Me: (What I should have done five minutes ago...) "Give me the disk, and I'll put it in my computer and check it out."

i'm sorry i keep quoting but some of these are hilarious!
 

quote:    *  Me: "So what do you think of the Y2K problem?"
    * My Coach: "The what?"
    * Me: "The Y-2-K problem. What do you think about it?"
    * My Coach: "What is Y2K?"
    * Me: "Y2K, you know, the year 2000 problem?"
    * My Coach: "Oh yeah, I know something about that."
    * Me: "So do you think that this is going to be a big problem?"
    * My Coach: "Of course not! If Bill Gates can write Windows 98 all by himself, then he's going to be able to fix the problem on time."

oh my sides! this one is the *best* yet! ...
 

quote:Our company's website has a section for press releases that's automatically updated. On January 2, 2000, it proudly presented the following:

    29.12.99 (...some headline...)
    29.12.99 (...some headline...)
    30.12.99 (...some headline...)
    02.01.100 Success! No Y2K bugs!

[ January 13, 2003: Message edited by: Calum ]

[xyle_one]

i remember about a year ago i got very pissed at my computer and typed "stupid computer" into google. I found Computer Stupidities. I fucking love that site. i think i spent a good 5(?) hours rumaging through it, cracking up at people. Seriousely now, a cup holder on the front of the case?? formating a disc by ripping the metal off, and stripping the plastic. or shaving the sides off of a cd so it would fit into the floppy drive. Too funny.
 

quote: I was calling to sign up with a new DSL provider. When the guy asked what operating system I was using, I said, "Linux." I was put on hold for five minutes, and then a supervisor came back and told me, "You can't use Linux to connect to the Internet. It's a hacker tool, anyway." I almost fell out of my chair.

[TheGreatPoo]

Oh..my GOD!  I think it should be mandatory for people to have some form of basic computer training before they can even touch one!  I think it should be against the law for ANYONE without basic computer knowledge to touch, use, or even look at a computer.  Smae rule applies for cars.

(then again, without stupid people, I wouldn't be laughing right now!    )

[SAJChurchey]

Yeah, some people need to know what the fuck they're doing b4 they mess around and fuck something up, and then the IT dept. fucks up, and business as we know it is screwed.

[Calum]

quote:Originally posted by SAJChurchey:
Yeah, some people need to know what the fuck they're doing b4 they mess around and fuck something up, and then the IT dept. fucks up, and business as we know it is screwed.

wouldn't happen with *NIX. normal users CAN'T fuck up the system on a properly configured *nix system...

[SAJChurchey]

One of my main points exactly.

[Interscope]

quote:Originally posted by Solo:
the it directors at my school seem to think that linux is a toy os. when i asked them about putting linux on 1 or 2 pcs in each lab they wer e like 'you can play around and have fun with linux etc at home'. ok now i told them very seriously that they need to re-evaluate their definitions of serious os's and toy os's. then i started walking away and thought about it again, and soon i needed oxygen i was laughing so hard

If Linux is a Toy OS then what is Windows?

A joke.

=P

[cahult]

Here is another link to stupid IT people. Click on "Tales from the techs":

http://www.techtales.com/techroom.html