Dear Mr. Gates;
I have a problem with Windows Update. I have a couple of browsers (thats spelt B-R-O-W-S-E-R) called Opera and Phoenix. They aren't as good as yours, apparently because they lack something called ActiveX, and won't work on your Update site.
This only matters because I want some Patches and some Critical Updates. You know,I used to have a dog named Patches - amazing isn't it? So I am forced to use your Internet Explorer to get 'em.
Now here's the kicker - about two weeks ago I set the Home Page in IE to be 'fuckMicrosoft.com'. (Yep, I crack myself up sometimes.) The problem is that since that time, I cannot access Windows Update at all. How can this be? I'm sure your website is very busy, after all, Patches are big business for you. But 2 weeks?
I know the Judge said that you were a petty, vindictive little fuck, or words to that effect, but do you have to take it out on me?
Yours sincerely
Still Missing Patches...
