You're really in the wrong section, but I'll try to address your concerns (with something other than sympathy which you also deserve):
1. Find a good distro of Linux and learn it.
2. Sell the PC and buy a Mac.
#2 is probably the easiest, but likely the most expensive route.
Linux takes a little learning and is not your "here you dumb fool do it my way OS." On the other hand it works. But it may suffer from operator problems if you are not acquainted with it.
Have you thought of wasting more money, throwing it down the rat hole, and buy Windoze 98 or something equally gruesome?
Good luck. When there's only one monopoly (that's why it's called a monopoly) there aren't too many OS sitting around.