I think it has something to do with Steve Job's obsession with not drinking beer. If he were to enjoy a nice lager or a good stout ale occasionally, Apple would be better off.
Or maybe they could let someone like WILL FERREL take over the company so that he would get some giant guns and do battle with Microsoft. He could do a Celebrity Switch show every time they have a press conference, or something like that. Make Apple more fun than they are now. I think I'm gonna start a new thread about how boring they are.