Forum game: What if Microsoft made...

[hm_murdock]

a giant log of shit and put it in a box?

MS would make anything, and make it half ass if they thought they could get some dumbass to buy it.

Instead of all of these "what if" threads, why don't we just start a new forum game.

Start off with "what if microsoft made" and then say what it is. then describe what it does (or doesn't do) how much they charge for it, how often you have to pay for it (daily, weekly, per use). Then say who their "target market" is. Finally, tell how much it would suck compared to other makers' versions of the same thing.

Also, a quick history of who they ripped it off from wuold be nice... so, here's mine

What if Microsoft made a guitar? It would be the Microsoft Electroguitar XP. It would require the Microsoft Plus! for Guitars package to do anything. Plus! for Guitars would come with Microsoft Cable 2003 and the XAmplifierX. The XAmplifierX would only produce sound if you paid for a license to play a song. Any attempt to play a song without a license results in a call to the RIAA and secret service agents will show up and shoot you with uzis.

XAmplifierX will have the new Microsoft Music Maker program which will pretend to help you write your own music, but it'll call come out sounding like something that you hear on either a Britney Spears CD, or a kids' show. And MS Music Maker will crash before you can save.

It'll cost $225, along with a $40 registration fee, and a $20 activation fee. There will be a $19.95 monthly usage fee, as well as a a $.50 per strum surcharge.

[Kintaro]

What if Microsoft made a Linux distro?
www.mslinux.org explains

[Fett101]

quote:Originally posted by X11: Doing YA MUM:
What if Microsoft made a Linux distro?
www.mslinux.org explains

I'd but that for a dollar.

What if MS made people. You'd have to press your Big toe, little toe, and belly button to reboot, and would have to take a 5 minute nap after changing your clothes. *rimshot*

[Refalm]

What if Microsoft made operating systems?

You'd have to go to DOS to remove the spyware, and you'd have to press Ctrl+Alt+Delete instead of XKill to shud down a program.

They'd also make a program assistant named "Clippy", that explained to you how to type a letter.

They'd also force AT&T, Disney, AOL etc. commercials on your desktop, click here to see an example.

[Refalm]

What if Microsoft made windows?

Your window will connect to the internet to display weather information and the latest news MSNBC.

This seems quite cool at first. But then, one morning you wake up and look out your window. You see nothing except a blue screen that says: "A fatal exception 0E has occurred in 4D79:61727365 in OUTSIDEVIEWER32 + 4556494C. The current application will be terminated.".

When you see what hapends outside again, you get a message that the Windows WE (windows edition) 2.0 has been released, and that it will decrease blue error screens. You immediatly purchace it, and istall it on your window.

Your not getting any blue error screens anymore. The next morning, you wake up, look out your window whan suddenly a paperclip tells you that you can now order a full McDonalds breakfast delivered at your house. The paperclip can't be removed and is not listed in your task-list.

[Calum]

and when you finally are forced to upgrade to microsoft window XP (a product that you need to prove you bought several times before you can see through it, and which you are expected to pay for every six months even though it has been designed to break after two years) you look out and see this hideous view!:
http://calumsmusic.netfirms.com/kde-xp.jpg

[Fett101]

quote:Originally posted by Refalm:
What if Microsoft made operating systems?

You'd have to go to DOS to remove the spyware, and you'd have to press Ctrl+Alt+Delete instead of XKill to shud down a program.

They'd also make a program assistant named "Clippy", that explained to you how to type a letter.

They'd also force AT&T, Disney, AOL etc. commercials on your desktop, click here to see an example.

I don't get it...

[SpeeDFreaK]

What if Microsoft was a pharmaceutical company? We would have to get all of our drugs through them, they would keep adding stuff to their existing products to make it look like new as their current products begin to go out of date and charge us an assload of money to line the pockets of executives with cash! Wait a minute...

[cahult]

What if Microsoft made bread and cakes?

Products would never be released finished and you would always have the option(?) to add more yeast to the bread you just bought. Every once in a while the product would be moldy for no reason or break into little pieces.

[Kintaro]

What if Microsoft made a Unix operating system?
Pigs would also fly, and a hooka smoking cattapillar would ring me and tell me about. Then i would wake up, drink another bottle of Wild Turkey and go back to sleep.

[Kintaro]

What if Microsoft brought belg88.com?
Id messege gleb and laugh at him.

[Doctor V]

What if Microsoft made music.  God would it suck.  But people would listen to it just because everyone else did.

[cahult]

quote:Originally posted by Doctor[V]:
What if Microsoft made music.  God would it suck.  But people would listen to it just because everyone else did.

Ever heard "Monkey Developers" by Digital Droo? That tune has some sampled Steve Ballmer sounds. Grrrrrrrreat!!!!

[ January 23, 2003: Message edited by: cahult ]

[Kintaro]

What if Bill Gates did heroin?, wait he already does. (What do you think that stuff is being injected into the kids is on the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation page)

[PsychoticDreams]

what if microsoft made everything