Bob

[Master of Reality]

I have seen the way, and it is the way of Bob.
I encourage all of you to join The Cult of Bob.
We WILL have a utopia, by ALL means necassary.

[Master of Reality]

Join NOW!!

[Gooseberry Clock]

Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead -- do your worst!

[ June 09, 2002: Message edited by: Gooseberry Clock ]

[Master of Reality]

he closed the thread!!, he cant do that! (just joking).

Join The Cult of Bob today!!! Dont let the cows take over!

[ June 05, 2002: Message edited by: Master of Reality / Bob ]

[hackandx]

I use to eat cows

[Master of Reality]

quote:Originally posted by hackandX:
I use to eat cows

good work. Those damn cows are plottiong aginast us, just read this: http://gizzard.fortunecity.co.uk/cow/cow1.html

[Kintaro]

We are all bob
we are all bob
we are all bob
we are all bob
WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB! WE ARE ALL BOB!

[Kintaro]

quote:Originally posted by Gooseberry Clock:
Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead -- do your worst!

Now i see... Goosenbury Clock must be a... a... COW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KILL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Kill Goosenbury Clock before he eats your children!

[Calum]

i can't become a Bob since I am already an integrational polytheist. This enables me to believe however that you Bobs have got the right idea, even if only applied to your own situations. Of course it also allows me to believe in a lot of your doctrines! I like my religion! it also allows me to reject whole philosophies out of hand if i so choose! like those damn scientologists! (actually, while i may not agree with them, sadly my religious stance must allow that perhaps they are right, even if only for their own situations. This doesn't apply however to the gullible victims of their propaghanda...)

Still, if this thread had been started by gooseberry clock, i would have been less surprised!    well, keep up the good work.

You know, this cult of Bob thing reminds me of the good work that Devo did convincing people to de-evolve in order to better fit into our fast changing world...

[Master of Reality]

all non-bobs will be either converted or destroyed.

[Master of Reality]

remember to sign up for the mailing list at www.bobhub.cjb.net

[alied_perez]

quote:Originally posted by Master of Reality / Bob:
I have seen the way, and it is the way of Bob.
I encourage all of you to join The Cult of Bob.
We WILL have a utopia, by ALL means necassary.

What the hell is this BOB stuff??

[Master of Reality]

quote:Originally posted by alied_perez:


What the hell is this BOB stuff??

www.cultofbob.cjb.net
www.bobhub.cjb.net

here is some of the basics:

 Welcome brothers and sisters, to the cult of Bob. You will no doubt be wondering what the cult of Bob is all about - it's the latest effort on creating world unity. Past utopias have failed due to idealistic plans that look great on paper, but in real life are always corrupted by money, conflicting views, baaad people or bad management.

Why is this? It's because people think too much and have different views on what a utopia should be. The answer to this? We need to stop thinking! Thinking is BLOODY DANGEROUS and will only lead to wars, famine, and back stabbing murdering types. It's well known that people who think too much can turn into goths, schizophrenics or manic depressives, it's a harsh fact that the world is evil, humanity is all wrong and needs to be destroyed, the government are out to get us and we're all getting diseases from genetically mutated food and mad cows. This is where the Cult of Bob comes in. We need to stop thinking in order to survive and be happy! To create a perfect unity in this cruel world we must lose our minds, and become perfectly harmonised zombies, incapable of emotion or rational thought! Don't you agree?

What do the cult of Bob do?
The answer to that is not very much. The best plans are always the simple ones, and that is why the cult of Bob is so perfect. As a member of the cult of Bob your role is simple:

    * You will, at all convenient opportunities chant the words "We are all bob" many times, in a zombified manner.

    * You will attempt to convert many other people into chanting with you. First they will think it's funny, then they will get addicted to it. Then you should direct them to this page, where they will become a member of the Bob cult.

    * You will worship the Bob god, who goes under the name of Bob. Bob is a female, but that does not matter, as the cult of Bob is not gender specific. All races, genders, and animals may join with us, to create an army of Bobs, united in our cause of descriminating against NO-ONE, except non-bobs. They must be converted, or destroyed.

    * You should, in time, lose as many braincells as possible. Drinking in excess, going to heavy metal clubs, or banging your head against the wall is a good way of achieving this. The cult of Bob should ideally be very stupid, and unified in their mission of chanting "we are all Bob".

    * You will sacrifice food to the bob god. The Bob god likes cheese, spam, salami and alcohol. Eating hamsters is a good way of worshipping your god, see here for a good introduction to hamster eating.

    * You should be happy and friendly to your fellow Bob clan. The cult of Bob will be unified in our mission, and any one with a bad word to say about another Bob will be tortured and slowly garrotted. No-one is to discriminate against another bob, no matter their colour, race, sexuality, features, or dubious smell. We WILL have utopia, by any means necessary.

* If your family persuades you against being a member of the cult of Bob, you should KILL them, because they are WRONG. However, realise that this is your own choice, and the cult of Bob takes no responsibility for any murdered family. We cannot pay legal fees for you either, as the cult of Bob is a spiritual cult, not a material one, e.g. we have no money. Due to this reason, we cannot provide members with t-shirts or keyrings either, sorry about that.

So that is what your role as a bob will entail. It's effortless, fun, you're destined to be happy. Are you interested in joining us?

[Master of Reality]

now... for the menticide    .

Look, looook at the picture, and forget, forget your troubles, your stresses, your doubts and your worries, just look at the picture......

You are happy, carefree and relaxed. This is what being a member of the cult of Bob is like, through your whole life you will feel this, happy, secure, no worries, no hassles, just Bob. You will be Bob, your friends will be Bob, we are all Bob. Repeat after me: "WE ARE ALL BOB". WE ARE ALL BOB. WE ARE ALL BOB. You are now one of us. Go forth, and be happy with your new calm and relaxed state of mind, and help others to become as happy as you are too. However, as soon as you leave this page, you will instantly forget you ever witnessed this brainwashing routine. You will forget, for we are all Bob. Including you.

[ June 06, 2002: Message edited by: Master of Reality / Bob ]

[ June 06, 2002: Message edited by: Master of Reality / Bob ]

[Calum]

Are we not men? We are DEVO,
Are we not men? D-E-V-O.
We must be D-E-V-O.

Yes, Booji Boy, in the past disinformation has been supressed, but now it can be told, we're all DEVO...