Author Topic: Did you ever wonder?  (Read 665 times)

KernelPanic

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Did you ever wonder?
« on: 24 January 2003, 20:57 »
quote:
Did you ever wonder...
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

How about the first guy to try a chicken egg? Do you consider him
brave? How
many tries before he cooked it?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible
crisp which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point
to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going
to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
Both
dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

Why ARE Trix only for kids?

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't he
just buy dinner?

Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

(Come on say it!)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from?

If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,
is he
still wrong?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion
stars in
the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet
paint
somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you,
but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

If it's a 50 mph wind, and you drive your car 50 mph downwind, if you
stick
your head out the window, do you feel the wind?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same
tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

(I'll bet you sang those two songs above just to see if the tune was
the
same!)


[ January 24, 2003: Message edited by: Tux ]

Contains scenes of mild peril.

Kintaro

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Did you ever wonder?
« Reply #1 on: 24 January 2003, 21:41 »
First tell me all the reasons why you're here and you're not somewhere else
Then write down all the reasons why you're you and you're not someone else
You are a product of your long lost past
How long do you think these concepts will last?

But while I'm waiting, tell me something else,
Something worthwhile, something about yourself
Life is hard, what's it all about?
There's no time to figure it all out

Now Tell me why you're made up of all the things that you're made up of
Are you made up of tenderness and happiness and life and love?
Or is this all a fleeting illusion?
Now please tell me what is your conclusion?

But while I'm waiting, tell me something else,
Something worthwhile, something about yourself
Life is hard,! what's it all about?
There's no time to figure it all out

stop wondering.

Refalm

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Did you ever wonder?
« Reply #2 on: 24 January 2003, 22:13 »
You like that music from some artist called "Calum" too? He's really good.

DC

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Did you ever wonder?
« Reply #3 on: 24 January 2003, 23:00 »
About the 50mph wind thingy - no. That's relativity (classic relativity).

Do you guys parse modern relativistic paradoxes? Now THOSE are fun. They tend to need a lot of imagination to see though.
GS/CS d- s-: a--- C++ UL+ P+ L++>+++ E W++ N>+ o K- w-- O- M V? PS+>++ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5+ X R tv+ b+++ DI+ D+ G++ e>++++ h! r- y
A quantummechanical wavefunction describing an unknown amount of bottles of beer on the wall
A quantummechanical wavefunction describing an unknown amount of bottles of beer on the wall
We take a measurement, the wavefunction will collapse, and one of the bottles of beer will fall

Pissed_Macman

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Did you ever wonder?
« Reply #4 on: 25 January 2003, 05:13 »
Why do you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

voidmain

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Did you ever wonder?
« Reply #5 on: 25 January 2003, 05:37 »
Why do they call them apartments when they are so close together?
Someone please remove this account. Thanks...

TheGreatPoo

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Did you ever wonder?
« Reply #6 on: 25 January 2003, 06:33 »
If dumb ass is in reference to someone stupid, why isn't smart as refering to someone smart?

Why put something up when you can just put it down?
When Bill Gates throws you a curve ball, hit him in his jewels with the bat!