quote:
this, from CNBC
Hell, 12:32PM Evil Standard Time
The Devil announced his new foreign policy today in a publicly held press conference on the banks of the river Styx.
"From this time forward, Hell will be instituting a new policy of expansion. However, we're well aware of current United States imperialist pig policy and we are prepared to harbor any and all anti-Capitalist terrorists."
In other news, James T. Kirk of Starfleet proposed to attack the evil robots of 01 with heavy-handed tactics that allow for use of Imperial Star Destroyers and Chig shock troops. The 5th Tactical Gundam squad would be launched to combat the giant Kim Dong Il robot batallion in the Balkans, and Sky Captain will fly interference to destroy any North Atmospheric Missiles that would be fired by the soveriegn nation of Oceania, in an attempt to corner Big Brother.
we can't let this happen! how can the United States support such terrible actions! It's terrorism against Santa Claus!!!
quote:
Loam Redge of the American Inquisition was seen roasting muslim preists over a campfire. Colin Powers announced that all foreign nationals would be publicly beaten in the streets of Kurdish Mogadishu on Wednesday, 5th of Bushtober (the new 13th month).
We have to get Agent Smith to save us from Victor M. Bush! It's gone too far, the international superspies can no longer fake news stories about Batman and Green Thumb calling the Iraqui people inconsiderate names!
quote:
Captain Picard announced that he would launch phasers against Bill Blair of Great England if he didn't send fresh crumpets to his mum in France.
HOLY SHIT!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THE OUTRAGE!!
Francis Drake is in dire need of our assistance!
