Windows XP

[divinesloth]

Hi all, this was a warning sent to me by a friend. Not sure if you guys know about the dark story.

===================================================

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows XP on my PC. I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows XP CD. To my surprise he threw it into my microwave oven and turned it on. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.'

After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.'

To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, an inscription finer than anything I had ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:
12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE820945092OF923A40EElOE5 IOCC98D444AA08EI324

'I cannot understand the fiery letters,' I said in a timid voice.

'No but I can,' he said 'The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:

One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

It is only two lines from a verse long known in System-lore:

"Three OS's from corporate-kings in their towers of glass,
Seven from valley-lords where orchards used to grow,
Nine from dotcoms doomed to die,
One from the Dark Lord Gates on his dark throne
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie.
One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,
In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie."'

[voidmain]

Hey that's a great idea.. Hopefully everyone will put their XP CD in the microwave..  It shouldn't crash when they install it after that...

[ January 08, 2002: Message edited by: VoidMain ]

[Louis D]

Unless the microwave is a unversal plug and play device

[voidmain]

quote:Originally posted by MeatHead:
Unless the microwave is a unversal plug and play device

In case your microwave is a plug & pray device and not compatible with XP you can use the analog backup method:

1) Preheat oven to 425 degrees
2) Grease cookie sheet lightly
3) Place XP CD on cookie sheet and insert on middle oven rack
4) bake for 45 minutes or until crust is golden brown
5) Let cool, serve

Shrinky Dink?

[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: VoidMain ]

[Calum]

This sounds like that fab plan for formatting xp off yr hard disk, wait till i try that....

[MICROSOFT_RULES]

MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1V

[Calum]

Well if it 'rulez' so much, how come i see the blue screen of death more often than i see the 'it is now safe to turn off yr computer' screen?

[jtpenrod]

"MICROSOFT RULEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", etc., etc., etc.

Methinks he doth protest too much          

[Ozymandias]

Microsoft is great for people who dont care about their computer's inner workings, but games,applications, and hardware need to be made to or recognized but a multiple of os systems. Wont somebody design an OS with the capabilities of XP and the interface of linux? If i knew how I'd do it. MICROSOFT RULES THE IDIOT CLASS!

[Calum]

don't you mean the capabilities of Ljnux and the interface of XP? How about the capabilities of Linux and the interface of Linux... HEY WAIT A MINUTE!.....

[voidmain]

Actually, since Apple did the right thing and put a real OS under the hood, Mac people now have the capabilies of *NIX AND the Mac interface.  Don't know if they could run any of the other desktops if they preferred (doubt any would prefer but choice is good).  Unfortunately since the OSX GUI is closed source Linux people can not also enjoy the Mac GUI if they wanted.  And that means you have to have Mac hardware.  I don't really like what *I* believe are the motives for not wanting to port OSX to other platforms.  They are similar motives to Bill Gate's motives.

[Ozymandias]

By the capabilities of xp and the interface of linux, I meant that all the programs and hardware that wont work with linux would work with this new OS but it would still be free market and easy to get into the depths of your OS. I've never touched a Mac though..Not in the last 5 or 6 years.

[MxCl]

This little gem came from The Tolkein Sarcasm Page:

http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/tolksarc.htm

Great page, hilarious if you've read the books/ seen the film (I spose). That's actually my favorite bit, the crackpot theory on Windows 95:

http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/theories/win95.htm

[ March 15, 2002: Message edited by: MxCl ]

[Gooseberry Clock]

quote:Originally posted by Calum:
Well if it 'rulez' so much, how come i see the blue screen of death more often than i see the 'it is now safe to turn off yr computer' screen?

People make mistakes. That's why they put erasers on pencils.

[ March 16, 2002: Message edited by: Gooseberry Clock ]

[voidmain]

Yes, and some people make more mistakes than others, hence the need for them to have bigger erasers.