Santa Claus is a system administrator...

[Calum]

a link to:

quote:Musings on similarities between Santa Claus and system administrators.  
Consider:

* Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny.
* When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal.
* Santa seldom answers your mail.
* When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me."
* Santa doesn't care about your deadlines.
* Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves.
* Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions.
* Santa laughs entirely too much.
* Santa thinks nothing of breaking into your $HOME.
* Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence.

[ May 22, 2002: Message edited by: Calum ]

[Master of Reality]

similarities between santa and satan:
they both where red
they both live in extreme temperatures
there names use the same letters
they both employ legions of "helpers"
there is a few more, but i cant remember.

[voidmain]

Admittedly, I am still on the fence as to the existence of Santa Claus but maybe this can help sort it out for you:

http://home.uchicago.edu/~rascalzo/arch/palace/library/humor-tech/santa-physics.html

[Master of Reality]

what about this:
santa is constantly travelling a few times the speed of light while travelling over the earth throughout the whole year. Time is slower for him because...(ya know), this is why he is so old and has lived this long. He drops his presents while in orbit and does the equations to figure where exactly in space he will have to drop the presents in order to get it into each chimney on christmas night (as it re-enters the atmosphere and drops to the earth). The presents could then freely drop into each chimney by themselves. Since there is no air in space, there will be no air resistance for him and hence no bursting into flames.
Now what about the houses with no chimneys?

[Master of Reality]

or...
Santa Claus is really from an alien covilization working with microsoft in order to give away presents with hidden cameras, microphone, and other demographic gathering equipment hidden inside.

[voidmain]

Let's see... at what distance from earth would one have to be to maintain an orbit around it at a velocity of a few times the speed of light?  And if he dropped the presents would they not maintain the same orbit?  Hmmmm...  I'm all for putting Bill Gates in that orbit though.  Better yet, just fire him directly toward the sun. And Steve the red nosed Balmer could lead his way.

[ May 22, 2002: Message edited by: VoidMain ]

[Kintaro]

How do all the present's get made by eleves, as in where do all the plastics and other resources come from. ????????????????????

[Master of Reality]

although i do not promote the use of santa claus to little children, but if you must know.... Santa really gets all the toys made in pakistan and other far-east countries by slave labourers