I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time
you are finished talking, type RET twice.
I like fucking cows
Why do you say you like fucking cows?
Cows are dead sexy
This is not a healthy way of thinking.
Oh yes it is!
Is it because of your plans that you say yes it is?
What plans?
Maybe your life have something to do with this.
Obviously, twit.
What makes you believe obviously twit?
Because you are one.
Is it because I am one that you came to me?
I didn't suspect you were at first.
Earlier you said I am one?
No. But now I'm sure you are.
Does it bother you that now you are sure I am?
No
Why not?
Because you're the twit, not me.
When did you first know that I am the twit not you?
When you opened your fucking mouth
What happened when I opened my fucking mouth?
A flock of earthworms escaped.
Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going
through all this?
Possibly.
Are you sure that that?
What?
Can you elaborate on that?
No..
Are you annoyed that I ask that?
Yes
I see... Well, do you really think this is so?
Arrrgh!
I would appreciate it if you would continue.
No
Why not?
Because you are the weakest fucking psychotherapist I've ever seen!
Is the fact that I am the weakest fucking psychotherapist you have
ever seen the real reason?
Yes, it is.
You mentioned that I am one?
A moron? Why yes I did.
Does the fact that you're a moron explain anything else?
Are you retarded?
How do you reconcile problems at school?
I masturbate.
Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say you masturbate?
Yes, I draw a lot of dirty pictures.
What makes you think now you are sure I am?
Que?
Go on, don't be afraid.
Are you coming onto me?
Perhaps this has something to do with your sex life?
Perhaps.
I need a little more detail please.
I like cheese
Why do you say you like cheese?
It's tasty, and it smells good
Earlier you said I am the twit not you?
Why do you bring up the bad memories?
Are you sure do me bring up the bad memories?
Fuck this
Have you been afraid of sex?
Yes, and you would be too if you'd seen an 11 foot long dick.
Perhaps you could watch your tongue!
You're a pussy.
Possibly hangups you have are related to this.
Hangups concerning what?
Is it because of your inhibitions that you say hangups concerning
what?
I have no inhibitions
You mentioned that I am the weakest fucking psychotherapist you have
ever seen?
And I stand by that claim
You're being a bit brief, please, go into detail.
Go to hell
Would you please avoid such unwholesome thoughts.
Never!
Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are going
through all this?
I had a very bad childhood
What makes you believe you had a very bad childhood?
I never got to watch TV or play with other kids
Are you sure that I am one?
no, I'm not
How do you reconcile some problems at home?
I go outside and beat at trees with a lead pipe
I don't understand.
And you never will
