XP LUser, perhaps you could explain how I'm updating SuSe using Yast Online Update at the moment then?
As for the help you get on Linux forums, I've found that the Linux community is very eager to help out n00bs as myself whenever it's possible.
Try to remember that none of the people you can address on a forum owes you anything, they don't HAVE to help you out, only if they feel like it and if they have an answer to your problem.
Could it be that your online behaviour is why people aren't that inclined to offer you help????