Today, no evil genius is without lasers grafted to sharks, which is an expensive and dangerous process. This tutorial is intended as a starting base, and it is encouraged to read other tutorials and manuals to continue in the field of grafting lasers and weapons to live animals. Oh'Really publishing takes no responsibility for any damages that result from the grafting process.
Materials needed for this project:
1 titanium 3"x8" mounting trough
4 1" stainless steel rods
4 flat c-rings
4 stainless steel flat L pieces
16 bone-pins.
2 bio-electrodes
1 500 Watt Waterproof CO2/Tungsten Laser
1 Amperage inverter
1 flat pace of zinc
1 flat pace of copper
Assorted screws/nuts/bolts/etc.
First, we need to prepare the mount legs, arc weld the l-pieces to the steel rods, and bolt a c-ring over each one for extra support.
The second step is to sedate the shark, I recommend 500 mL's of Diazepam(Valium). Once the shark has been sedated, it is time for the incision.
The incision should be on the forehead, parallel to the spine. 12 inches is the recommended length. cement each foot to that the tips are 2" from each other across the skull, and 6" laterally.
Attach the bone-pins to the skull and bolt them to the mounting-feet.
Place the two electrodes on one of the temporal muscles of the shark and run the water-proof wires to the mounting trough. With that, double-check your work before stitching up the incision.
Attach a temporary LED to one of the electrode wires, the other lead should go to a temporary battery, which is where the other electrode lead should go. if wired right, the muscle should act as a switch for the LED.
Give your shark between a month and a week to heal and accustom to its new forehead.
After this, sedate the shark again and attach the laser, amperage inverter, and the zinc and copper plate on opposite lateral sides of the mounting trough, they should not be touching each other.. Place the positive electrical wire from the laser to the zinc plate. Run a wire from the copper plate to one of the electrodes, and from that electrode to the inverter, which goes to the laser.
let your shark wake up, and allow it to accustom to the laser on its head. Once it has learned control of it, it is time to press it into service.
Have fun and mayhem with your laser-shark!
Any questions, comments, or suggestions should be sent to:
Oh'Really Publishing
42 Castel of Snacks Ln.
WorthVille QP, 90210-1138
