my apologies.

[Calum]

John, as I said just a bit ago, the meaning of life is.

You can't find the solution to the problem if you terminate it prematurely, you should know this from basic math / science.

If you want to know the answer, you'll live it out and seek it, rather than end it and lose it.  Don't gamble on a snake eyes with the question of life.  This, too, shall pass.

I really wish I knew what else to say, but I'm at a loss.  

good advice.

i added a comment to his blog entry, sent him an email, sent PM on his AIM (yes, logged on, but idle for 7 hours now), by my reckoning it's around 5AM in victoria at the moment, so probably not a good idea to ring just right now, but whatever's happened, must be heppening or have heppened by now, if the original blog entry was yesterday at 9AM (20 hours ago?)

my best wishes and thoughts are with john, and that's about all i can do. but i think that has power. good wishes make the world go round. or should at any rate.

[BobTheHob]

John,
I hope you read this. I never really talked to you before beside the odd thread, but your a person like anyone else, and lives are meant to be lived. Your live IS worth it, you can live a great life. You just need to get help, you can be made to feel normal. Suicide is not a normal mentally stable thought, but it is a thought that can be helped. You need to be properly diagnosed, you have to be completly honest with your doctor or you wont progress. You mentioned you were basically living on lies, again, this is not normal, but yet again, can be helped. Like I said, you need see a psychiatrist whom you have to be completly honest with, thats the only way for them to diagnose you properly. Your life does matter, as is now very obvious by the response of your friends, yes, friends, I alway thought you were a great person from what posts of yours I have seen. Hopefully you are ok know and able to read this and all the other posts. Maybe now you will realize that you do infact have friends who care about you.

I hope he is ok, hopefully he is doing better now and getting help.

[Laukev7]

John,

What does it matter that 80% of the stories you have told us have been fabricated to gain our sympathy? Is the fact that you are so desperate to need to build an imaginary world of your own not sufficient grounds to gain our sympathy? Furthermore, wouldn't you agree that trying to find a 'meaning' to your life amounts to little more than buying into the artificial constructs that society has built, because people are uncomfortable with the notion of being merely masses of sentient beings made of cells? Following that line of reasoning, how are your confabulations any more unethical?

Exactly why do you so direly need a purpose to your life? Is life itself not sufficiently adequate to be enjoyed on its own?

[Laukev7]

Oh. And to give you a personal example of how much impact you have on other people, John. When I said that I was paralysed when I wanted to call you, it wasn't just about money or parental relations. I was actually having an internal struggle, fueled by my burning sense of urgency to call you, desperately trying to fight my hesitations and my feeling of being tethered, due to my own emotional problems which I have been trying to overcome for a long time.

So please, do believe us when we say that people do care for you. We don't even need to actually have seen each other for such a bond to form.

As Calum said, the best I can do for now is give you my best wishes.

[piratePenguin]

John,
I hope you read this. I never really talked to you before beside the odd thread, but your a person like anyone else, and lives are meant to be lived. Your live IS worth it, you can live a great life. You just need to get help, you can be made to feel normal. Suicide is not a normal mentally stable thought, but it is a thought that can be helped. You need to be properly diagnosed, you have to be completly honest with your doctor or you wont progress. You mentioned you were basically living on lies, again, this is not normal, but yet again, can be helped. Like I said, you need see a psychiatrist whom you have to be completly honest with, thats the only way for them to diagnose you properly. Your life does matter, as is now very obvious by the response of your friends, yes, friends, I alway thought you were a great person from what posts of yours I have seen. Hopefully you are ok know and able to read this and all the other posts. Maybe now you will realize that you do infact have friends who care about you.

I hope he is ok, hopefully he is doing better now and getting help.

I'll second all of that. Word for word.

I really don't know what to say. I'm pretty new to these forums but John, if you think your useless, or nothing, you're wrong. You're much more than that. Your poetry, your writing and your art, are all great. You should get help, and continue doing the stuff that you enjoy and are good at.

You're also part of these forums, and as Bob said, we are your friends and we all care about you.
I wish you the best and really hope you get better.

[Lord C]

Just phoned  the police for an update.

Got passed around and put on hold as usual.

I have been told to called 'after 3' and ask for a specific police woman, so that is 6am my time.

I am getting up at about 6:30 tomorrow for the gym anyway - so i'll give her a call.

[Calum]

thanks for this, lord C, keep us updated here anyway if you hear anything (anybody else too) john is still logged into aim, as i am sure you all know, if he stops being in status "idle" and somebody notices, ask him how he's getting on please, and if you are john (or should i say "if you're reading this, john", or X11 (in my mind anyway!) then do let us know how you are keeping.

[adiment]

wow, that's some fucked shit....Hope you're ok

anybody know what chemicals those pills contain?

60 pills is crazy... and enough for some serious damage, lets hope it doesn't come to that.

edit: hmm, appears he's been idle on AIM for 12 hours.

[Laukev7]

He has a script that makes him go on and away. Don't ask me why, I know this because I asked him why he did that a while ago.

[Kintaro]

hello.

im alive, i read this thread but at the moment my brain wont take to much into itself uhm yea.

i am having troubles with my vision to the point i am using a 200% text size increase.

They are considering short term mental hospitalisation. My dad has locked away everything in tablet form that exists in the house.

Thanks for your kind words. I don't know how to explain all of this knot of thinking I was stuck in yesterday morning. I don't know how to explain why I did it exactly. Im sorry I worried you people.

[Kintaro]

http://kintaro.noobify.com/drupal/?q=node/76

Theres an update.

[Laukev7]

I'm glad to hear you're doing better, John.

BTW, do you read our comments on your blog?

[Lord C]

Welcome back!

[piratePenguin]

hello.

im alive, i read this thread but at the moment my brain wont take to much into itself uhm yea.

i am having troubles with my vision to the point i am using a 200% text size increase.

They are considering short term mental hospitalisation. My dad has locked away everything in tablet form that exists in the house.

Thanks for your kind words. I don't know how to explain all of this knot of thinking I was stuck in yesterday morning. I don't know how to explain why I did it exactly. Im sorry I worried you people.

Glad to see you're getting better! :thumbup:

[Calum]

welcome back, a clutch of internet freaks now breathes easier!