my apologies.

[Kintaro]

Yea Kev bro, I read your comments and Calums as well. And everything else in this thread.

Its 7:26am and I have not slept.

Here comes a funny story, last night and yesterday due to dosing 50 risperidal I had side effects of not being able to control my face or tounge. I could not read properly and everything was fucked up. They gave me other medication to take that stops the side effects like fucking with my facial expression, locking my jaw open, not being able to talk due to a swollen tounge.

These side effects were still bothering me last night at about 10pmish and I decided it would be best to have some sleeping pills and go rest. However for some fucked up reason, the sleeping pills made me more "sober", I could see properly and was really awake from them. Sleeping Pills, what the fuck.

I feel rather guilty about this because a close friend of mine on a forum last year posted a note and shot himself. That crushed me.

[Kintaro]

I'm glad to hear you're doing better, John.

BTW, do you read our comments on your blog?

Yes I read the comments, thank you very much for the support and advice I needed to hear because the shrinks just talk psychobabble that i hardly understand and god damn I might as well just get a job and go back on the weed - I was happier.

[Laukev7]

Eh, I was fooling around.

[Laukev7]

(Ow, my ears.)

[Kintaro]

[size=8]Bang![/size]

[Laukev7]

Ow.

[Calum]

try valerian, it is a very good natural sleep inducer, and it has none of the side effects of harsher artificial tranquilisers such as ludes and valium.

[Laukev7]

That stuff stinks, though. And it makes the cats go mad.

An alternative that works for me is to ingest substantial amounts of food, preferably fruit to get the digestive system to drain enough energy to induce sleep. Mango works especially well for me.

[Aloone_Jonez]

That's funney because I can't sleap when I've had a lot of apples, cheese also stops me from sleaping.

Apples are high in fibre which makes my stomach churn and cheese is packed with fat an protein which are also hard to digest.

[Calum]

stinks? you can get it in sugar pills with a measured number of milligrams in each one! they don't stink, and you have very odd cats if a bottle of sugar pills makes them go mad!

[Jenda]

THAT is a relief, Kintaro. I haven't been up here, on the fora, for some time, and now I come... and read this, almost unreal, thread.

John,
   I'm sure you will manage straightening out your mind, your thoughts and your reasoning, all through your own mental power. We are all here for an unknown reason, which has been sought for since Socrates. Although no one has yet found it, and we can't even be sure if it exists, we have since still successfuly lived through several hundred generations.
   Although not always enjoyable, life is what we borrowed from nature, and it will take what it owns soon enough. We should not try to repay any earlier, just as we cannot extend the duration by our earthly means.
   Just as the mathematical postulates can not be proven any further, life cannot be given a deeper reason, it's like trying to factorise a prime number.

   I can add myself to the long list of on-line friends, as I consider you all to be to myself, who hope you will get through this. From the inside, on your own. No one can change you mind from the outside, although many can offer support - some probably better that me and all of us out here.

Jenda

[Laukev7]

stinks? you can get it in sugar pills with a measured number of milligrams in each one! they don't stink, and you have very odd cats if a bottle of sugar pills makes them go mad!

Ah, well, it doesn't work quite the same way here. Natural medicine is more popular and more reliable in Europe than in Canada; here they're relegated to a 'Natural products' section in the pharmacy, sold quite expensive in capsules, and people tend to be suspicious of it because a lot of it is snake oil.

It's not that I dislike Valerian; I had to take some myself, because I had a very bad case of insomnia a few years ago. I couldn't really tell whether it was effective, though (in fact, even the chemical medication had only little effect).