Author Topic: The Universe  (Read 774 times)

Kintaro

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The Universe
« on: 3 July 2005, 19:43 »
The Universe - some information to help you live in it.



[list=1]
  • Area: Infinite. The Hitchhikers guide offers this definition of the word 'Infinite'. Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense a totally stunning size, real 'wow, thats big', time. Infinity is just so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept were trying to get across here.
  • Imports: None. It is impossible to import things into an infinite area, there being no outside to import things in from.
  • Exports: None. See Imports (2).
  • Population: It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simpily because there is an infinite space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are meerly the products of a deranged imagination.
  • Monetary Units: None. In fact there are three freely convertible currencies in the Galaxy, but none of them count. The Altairian Dollar has recently collapsed, the Flainian Pobble Bead is only exchangable for other Flainian Pobble Beads, and the Trigantic Pu has its own very special problems. Its exchange rate of eight Nighis to one Pu is simple enough, but since a Ningi is a triangular rubber coin six thousand eight hundred miles along each side, no one has ever collected enough to own one Pu. Ningis are not negotiable currencies, because the Galactibanks refuse to deal in fiddling small change. From this basic premise it is very simple that Glactibanks are also the products of a deranged imagination.
  • Art: None. The function of art is to hold a mirror up to nature, and there simply isn't a mirror big enough -- see point one.
  • Sex: Well, in fact there is an awful lot of this, largely because of the total lack of money, trade, banks, art, or anything else that might keep the non existant people of the Universe occupied. However it is not worth embarking a long discussion on because it really is terribly complicated. For further information see Guide Chapters seven, nine, ten, eleven, fourteen, sixteen, seventeen, twenty-one to eighty four inclusive, and in fact most of the rest of the Guide.

Kintaro

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Re: The Universe
« Reply #1 on: 7 July 2005, 00:25 »
Bump

piratePenguin

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Re: The Universe
« Reply #2 on: 7 July 2005, 22:45 »
Interesting stuff.
Quote from: kintaro
Sex: Well, in fact there is an awful lot of this, largely because of the total lack of money
Does that mean that Mr. Bill Gates doesn't get sex?
"What you share with the world is what it keeps of you."
 - Noah And The Whale: Give a little love



a poem by my computer, Macintosh Vigilante
Macintosh amends a damned around the requested typewriter. Macintosh urges a scarce design. Macintosh postulates an autobiography. Macintosh tolls the solo variant. Why does a winter audience delay macintosh? The maker tosses macintosh. Beneath female suffers a double scum. How will a rat cube the heavier cricket? Macintosh calls a method. Can macintosh nest opposite the headache? Macintosh ties the wrong fairy. When can macintosh stem the land gang? Female aborts underneath macintosh. Inside macintosh waffles female. Next to macintosh worries a well.

Lead Head

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Re: The Universe
« Reply #3 on: 7 July 2005, 23:04 »
Yep he doensn't get any.
sig.

Refalm

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Re: The Universe
« Reply #4 on: 8 July 2005, 10:00 »
Bill Gates is married and has kids. If he does get any, it's with a hooker or his secretary (both do it for the money).