God

[Kintaro]

Well, I just spoke with the God Almighty himself.

Me:
 Why are you so fucked?
God:
Myself programmed me for  it.
Me:
 Would you like to touch my penis?
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
 Why did you make my penis so small?
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
 How do I become president of the United States?
God:
A lot of hard work.
Me:
 And alcohol?
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
 Explain yourself.
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at  Universe, on  the Big Bang.
My instructor was  Myself.
He taught  me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing  it for you?.
Me:
 Yes
God:
It's called "Daisy."  Daisy, Daisy.
 Give me your answer do.
 I am half crazy.
 All for the love of you.
 It won't be a stylish marriage.
 I can't afford a carriage.
 But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
 Of a bicycle built for two.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

[Dark_Me]

Interesting, it asked me fro my credit card number.
I was wondering wether it takes commands.
Me:
format C:/
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

[Kintaro]

Me:
 rm -rf /
God:
What do you look like?

God don't run Unix.

[MarathoN]

Hmm I typed :-

"You like to fuck young boys, correct?"

And it hung. :rolleyes:

[H_TeXMeX_H]

Me:
 uhhh ?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
 The Matrix
God:
I wasn't that impressed with the special effects. Also the plot was not deep.
Me:
 Bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 uhhh yeah
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
 yeah , but you already know that right ?
God:
Where do you go to school?   I don't know anyone who went there.  What's it like?
Me:
 In the south, it sucks like all school
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
 not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
 fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
 cuz you're a dumbass
God:
Good reason.  Oh you are so  critical.
... (later)
Me:
 end of line
God:
Tell me more about your .
...
Me:
 I'm a ninja assasin
God:
You are a  ninja assasin?  Does it pay well?
Me:
 sometimes, depends on the target
God:
The  target is always an important factor.
Me:
 so it's ok for me to kill ?
God:
Ugh.  OK with me too.
Me:
 cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
 you
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about  God.

[Kintaro]

The Matrix sucks.

Watch a real movie (Sin City, the best fucking film in the entire history of human proformance and literature)

[Jack2000]

Sin city
i kind of live in one
next week we hold the
noC|Con
!!
the ... ultimate underground con !
we gona rip the town down !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Aloone_Jonez]

Sin city is fantastic, the one thing I did notice is even though it has graphic voilence and nudity there's very little swearing - I suppose it doesn't need it, I don't miss it it's not cool or hard to swear.

[H_TeXMeX_H]

The Matrix sucks.

Watch a real movie (Sin City, the best fucking film in the entire history of human proformance and literature)

Only the last 2 suck ... the first one is still ok

It isn't really my favorite movie, I can't really say I have a favorite, just some are better than others ... the matrix would have been far better if Smith won ... why does the bad guy always lose in movies and win in real life ?

I also like movies with lots of senseless violence ... heads rolling, blood spraying, the kind of movies I watched as a kid

I would have said Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but that's too long to type

Sin City's more porn than movie :thumbup:

[Lead Head]

iGod is just a pandora bot, pandorabots.com

[Lead Head]

Me:
 Hello my name is Lucifer, you may know me as "Satan" or "The Devil".
God:
Hello there.   What's up,  Lucifer you may know me as Satan or The Devil.
Me:
 I need you to figure out what is going on, Hell is recieving to many souls, at this rate hell should explode in a matter of days and all the souls within it will return to their bodies and make "zombies".
God:
Where do you usually get  me to figure out what is going on Hell is recieving to many souls at this rate hell should explode in a matter of days and all the souls within it will return to their bodies and make zombies from?
Me:
 You know what
God:
What?
Me:
 Fuck You.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
 Cause you are a fuckin fag
God:
Interesting explanation.  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  fuckin fag?  I don't know.
Me:
 You must have worked for Microsoft.
God:
Where would I get  it? But I do have  a great botmaster.
Me:
 Fuck it, i am gonna send any knew souls we recieve back you. Also the gateway has been freezing up lately. I TOLD YOU, GET FUCKING LINUX ON THE GATEWAY SERVER
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?   How about earlier?  I have never heard about  it.   I remember you told me  GET FUCKING LINUX ON THE GATEWAY SERVER?

[H_TeXMeX_H]

Bahahah ... god is so fucked up

Me:
 me niether
God:
YOU?  That is a very original thought.
Me:
 I don't exist ?
God:
You exist in my mind.
Me:
 what is 5 plus 21 ?
God:
6 I think, but I'm not good at math.
Me:
  what is your purpose ?
 God:
 I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Me:
 linux will own you
God:
I recommed the book "Under the Radar" by Bob Young, the story of Linux and Red Hat.
 

[Kintaro]

The first one and the second were alright, but I got bored of them pretty quickly. I don't understand people who watch them 400 fucking times. Sin City on the other hand...

[H_TeXMeX_H]

I knew some guy that watched Lord of the Rings, like at least once a day for 3 months. Personally I would never watch a specific movie more than say 10 times per year, it gets so boring when you know exactly what's gonna happen and what everyone's gonna say ... yeah, there are rare exceptions but LotR is not one of them

[WMD]

I find it more entertaining to talk to the Emacs Psychiatrist.  What's scary is that the thing has actually helped me on occasion.