Stop Microsoft

All Things Microsoft => Microsoft as a Company => Topic started by: Xeen on 16 June 2004, 06:48

Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: Xeen on 16 June 2004, 06:48: Microsoft to create their own anti-virus software product (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=569&ncid=738&e=1&u=/nm/20040615/tc_nm/tech_microsoft_security_dc)

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: WMD on 16 June 2004, 07:10: This...um...can't be real. :eek:
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: xyle_one on 16 June 2004, 07:13: What would be the point in making their OS secure then? Fuck this. This is all kinds of wrong.
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: mobrien_12 on 16 June 2004, 07:29: This is one of the things that pisses me off about windows. You gotta buy windows. You gotta buy an antivirus program because windows sucks. You gotta buy a firewall because windows sucks (please don't tell me that you can download ZA for free, 'cause if it costs something for the commercial or educational environment, it doens't count in my book).

I see what MS is saying... sorta like "hey you can buy other people's Antivirus programs... we aren't going to do an MSIE/Netscape thing here."

And actually, I appreciate that.

But still... the whole point is that WINDOWS SUCKS and you have to keep forking out money to run it. And now you have the opportunity to pay MS twice to use its operating system. Whoopee.
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: solarismka on 16 June 2004, 10:47: This just in. A new virus hit the net that affects the Microsoft family of operating systems. Including win2k3 and xp with the new sp2 installed.

Antiav32.worm infects the Microsoft anti-virus software by creating a dat file and installing itself as an 'update' thus infecting and taking control of the whole system.

m$ say that they are working for a patch but will not be able to release it till 2027.

---------------------------------------

Then not to much later.

A new virous has been found 'Anti2av32.worm 'that infects the patched version of their anti-virous software that takes control of the whole system. It infects all M$ OS'es.

m$ is now going to release a patch for that patch but says the only way the user will be safe will be to 'upgrade' to their newest version of windows.

---------------------------------------------

Then a short time later....

A new virus has been found 'Anti3av32.worm/Anti3av64.worm' that infects all m$ os'es by infecting Microsofts anti-virous program that has been patched with a patch for a patch. But this time the infection also includes their newest OS as well that has also been patched with SP90000000000000000000000098198292021.

.

And so the story ontinues.... :D

[ June 16, 2004: Message edited by: -=Solaris.M.K.A=- ]
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: WMD on 16 June 2004, 11:58: quote:
Originally posted by -=Solaris.M.K.A=-:
Antiav32.worm infects the Microsoft anti-virus software by creating a dat file and installing itself as an 'update' thus infecting and taking control of the whole system.

Good one :D
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: enjoijeff on 17 June 2004, 08:09: Hmmm... they wouldn't need to make an Anti-Virus program had they just made Windows more secure. What's the point in that Windows thing that lets you download bug fixes and patch security holes? Oh wait... no nevermind that's free. They probably just want to make a few extra dollars off that. Five bucks says that Longhorn doesn't have that Windows Update thingy. This software is going to replace it. ;)

Do you see this? I mean that's like having someone do your roof. Then they say that it's finished next day it rains and it's leaking everywhere. They then come out and say that they'll fix it but it'll cost you. That's just not going to go down very well with most people. You did the job you're supposed to make sure it's done right the first time. Not charge to fix the job you didn't finish. If that's how it is supposed to be with every other thing. Why is it that people don't think so with computers?

I mean a toy that is a hazard to a child is recalled. So why not with an operating system that knowingly has security holes that could ruin your computer... why hasn't Windows been recalled, yet?

[ June 16, 2004: Message edited by: enjoijeff ]
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: cahult on 17 June 2004, 14:54: Windows should have anti-update software which "sucks" back the faulty software.
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: Laukev7 on 17 June 2004, 17:07: No, someone should make a patch to make the software detect Windows as a virus.

Which makes me think... does anyone else suspect that Microsoft might use their anti-virus to criple their competitors' products? I mean, imagine the possibilities...

[ June 17, 2004: Message edited by: Laukev7 ]
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: M51DPS on 17 June 2004, 23:00: quote:
Originally posted by Laukev7:
No, someone should make a patch to make the software detect Windows as a virus.

Which makes me think... does anyone else suspect that Microsoft might use their anti-virus to criple their competitors' products? I mean, imagine the possibilities...

WARNING: Microsoft Anti-Virus 2004 has detected a virus on your computer! It is a memory resident virus type COMP-37170-R, identified as "OpenOffice". Microsoft has decided that it would be in your best interest to have it, as well as all files created/modified by it, automatically deleted in order to contain the spread. Have a nice day.

[ June 17, 2004: Message edited by: M51DPS ]
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: solarismka on 18 June 2004, 03:06: You know what though. That might be the case.

So what m$ would do is upload a 'dat.file' followed by a 'patch' that would critcaly slow down the machine and introduce new level or curuptions to the system files.

Of course m$ says they are 'working' on a patch but say it isn't their fault. Its the gpl'ed software that you might be running or any '3rd party apps.'

I've actualy seen m$ zealots already use this argument by blaming 3rd party apps or 3rd party software. More, however they could put the virus software the same way they do m$ office, where the application in itself is not compatible with its older versions making you have to upgrade the hole OS and of course its 'tied into windows.' So there is no way of removing it.

If windows were reccalled like a faulty product over 95% of their desktop market share would completely disapear over night! :D
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: mobrien_12 on 18 June 2004, 06:59: quote:
Originally posted by M51DPS:

WARNING: Microsoft Anti-Virus 2004 has detected a virus on your computer! It is a memory resident virus type COMP-37170-R, identified as "OpenOffice". Microsoft has decided that it would be in your best interest to have it, as well as all files created/modified by it, automatically deleted in order to contain the spread. Have a nice day.

[ June 17, 2004: Message edited by: M51DPS ]

Whole new meaning to claims that the GPL is "viral."
Title: Joke of the year is here!
Post by: zao on 22 June 2004, 04:34: Bah, there willl be a super-virus that will shut down MS anti-virus. Windows family has a lot of hole that can be exploited. Patching takes a while.