Stop Microsoft
Miscellaneous => The Lounge => Topic started by: Laukev7 on 8 August 2003, 12:21
-
Alright, the classic story game. Yes, I love stories. Yes, I know about the one held 6 months ago. Anyway, I start with a small paragraph, and you continue the story.
Here goes:
Laukev7 was working on his Windows PC, and it BSOD'ed when he attempted to save his Microsoft Word document, and lost all his work. Fed up with Microsoft, he decided to...
-
...hand microsoft some money for an upgrade to windows xp, which is supposed to be much more stable. He has to reboot all the time, and is fed up. luckily his friend suggests...
-
...to install linux on the machene unfortunautly, during download, an error appears witch says...
-
...this package can only be downloaded using Internet Explorer 4.0 or older. But thank goodness there was an old floppy version of ...
-
. . . Windows 3.11. He decided to give it a shot since it couldn't be that bad. At lest until his computer . . .
-
started churning out thick black smoke. He unplugged it and brought it straight to...
-
... the local dumpster. Then, he wanted revenge on Microsoft, so he decided to ...
-
...Blow himself up.
The end.
-
quote:
Originally posted by TheQuirk:
...Blow himself up.
The end.
You not liking the fact that someone else made a forum game?
-
After blowing his own dick for a few minutes, he asks himself, 'What the fuck am I doing?', and smacks TheQuirk with his 'The End' panel. Then Stryker says...
-
... "How did I get in this story? Why is that guy sucking himself?" He then looks at Laukev7 who says...
-
... 'because TheQuirk said "blowing himself up", but I understood "blowing myself"'. Anyway...
-
. . . march over to microsoft head quarters and hunt down gates with an uzi. After an hour of running around the building pumping lead into anyone he sees, he corners gates and . . .
-
quote:
Originally posted by M51DPS:
. . . march over to microsoft head quarters and hunt down gates with an uzi. After an hour of running around the building pumping lead into anyone he sees, he corners gates and . . .
Gets shot in the face by White Ninja. Then, White Ninja takes off Laukev7's face, and wears it on his head. He then walks around pretending he is Laukev7.
Note: he filled the hole he made with the gun using rubber.
[ August 11, 2003: Message edited by: TheQuirk ]
-
Then suddenly, the Earth opened up beneath them, bringing the very fires of hell to burn through their mottled flesh, ripping apart their skeletons the melting their guts to free-floating hydrogen!!!
-
...and then I woke up having a terrible hangover :D
-
God damn it. PEOPLE. Stop using the "...and then I/he/someone woke up for a dream/hangover/something else" excuse! It's stupid! JUST STOP! STOP! STOP!
Anyway, continuing. As NikS was waking up, he realized he was a hostage to a group of giant Chechen cyclopes.
-
these cyclops had eye lasers which made them even more dangerous. The cyclops were holding niks hostage so that they could attract people for the unveiling a new line of cyclops eyewear but there was one problem...
-
The stupid designer forgot that he was making the eyewear for cyclops and made normal eyewear. During the unveiling attending cyclops, being very sensitive about having only one eye, started rampaging around the place and destroying everything. At least until . . .
-
...Papercut Man showed up, flinging a salvo of razor-sharp paper at the cyclopses' eyes. Their eyes exploded into a bloody mess, blinding them all and causing them to stand around confused. They were now noclypses!!!
-
It was soon discovered though that they weren't even proper Cyclopses, they were fake ones. It was because Bill Gays had stole all the real ones and...
-
...replaced them with killer robots!! After several seconds of standing around look confused, the noclopses transformed into 90 foot tall killer robots running Windows.
-
Luckily, since they were running windows, they all BSOD and exploded. Unfortunately they were powered by nuclear reactors so . . .
-
they began to spew candy like any normal nuclear reactor. When the robots exploded it destroyed a lot of crap so everybody went crazy and...
-
the human race was ended. All six billion people on earth died as the planet was consumed in a rolling cloud of deadly fire. However...
-
...the cockroachs survived and after 8 million years evolved to be just like humans only they had all the roachy goodness. The new cockroach society was flourishing until....
-
they created computers and we find out bill gates had saved himself from death and froze himself in a crio chamber he then came up with windows cocroach edition but the cocroach men had enough brains to use linux.
-
Also they found that it was easy enough to attack the so called port "135" to render Bill Gays Impotent for the rest of his un-natural life... He was finished in software, who knows, maybe he would run for president?
-
But instead Bill Gays decided to live in a cabin by a beautiful lake with a magical dog named Desmond. After living in this peaceful place for a few months Bill Gays went back to his old ways and started up Microsoft again, selling Windows to all the woodland creatures. But after all the woodland creatures realized that it was utter crap, they orgnanized raids on Bill's cabin. One day even his magical dog Desmond turned against him and ripped Bill's intestines out. Shortly afterward the cute little woodland woodland creatures consumed the corpse, leaving only a bloody puddle on the floor. And so ended the life of Bill Gays.
-
'Thank God for that', breathed humanity in a mutual sigh of relief, phew! No longer do we have utter shite software to contend with, just shite software. However in the murky background $CO had found a piece of Bill Gays $crotal sack and had used this to sequence Bill Gays D#NA# (it was proprietary dna). $CO CEO'$ used Winblow$ LongToothFogHorn for all the $equencing#, it was proprietary what ever it was. After many days of compiling emerged...
[ August 13, 2003: Message edited by: Zardoz ]
-
a horrible beast that looked somthing like this:
(http://www.angelfire.com/rebellion2/reverendstiller/billymcgates.gif)
SCO had also found saliva samples of Gate's lawyers on the scrotum sample so they used it to bring many lawyers to take over the world
-
What The Fuck Is That!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (hehehe) Exclaimed everyone and Fox news. Nonetheless the scrotal lawyer son's of a hoar, I have the c#lapp Gays were let loose on this sorry world of ours.
"God this is getting awfully twisted he mused to himself. I wonder what would happen if I...."
[ August 13, 2003: Message edited by: Zardoz ]
-
"...turned myself into an aardvark." Just then..
-
Aliens decided to come to Earth and enslave the human race to make small trinkets and collectibles for alien tourists, who also like to buy humans and take them home for pets and to be just plain mean. Some of the aliens bought a Eartharium
-
the beast mutated in to bill gates and he took over sco the world was under him at last but wait somewhere two experimental genetically enhanced penguins were born one called tux the other called kiba together they faught m$ with linux everyone realised they were superior and began to crossover everything was fine untill bill atacked with his army of sco kiba and tux were battle hardend wariors so they took out thier kitanas and beheaded the sco dorks unfortunately the m$ geeks had arrived and there were to many for poor kiba and tuxthey took many injuries but they battled on untill thier muscles gave way luckily a giant metal apple protected the wariors untill they recovered they found wepons inside the apple kiba took an uzi tux took a buzuka a rifle a pistol and a machine gun they masacerd the geeks when they ran out of amo then they took out there kitanas and began beheading again the battle lasted for months the geeks numbers had dapleated it looked like the penguins brothers had won untill bill captured linux travalds their creator rather than give in to their demands he blew himself up doing some damage aswell. tux and kiba were struck with greif they now want revenge
-
[wow that's the longest sentence I've ever seen]
So Tux and Kiba committed suicide in order to keep chasing Bill Gates. When they got to the pearly gates of heaven God was rather perplexed because the two were requesting to go to hell. Once in hell, Tux and Kiba hunted down and killed Bill Gates, which brought him back to life. The two of them also committed suicide and then again vowed to take revenge on the now living Bill Gates. After they killed him they again killed themselves and went to hell and killed him again. This went on for almost twenty years until...
-
a wierd looking fellow named optimus prime crashed a big ass ship into the mountains. once settled he and his friends lended a hand in collapsing the esence of bG into a escape-proof vehicle headed to the nearest blackhole. once free from there pursuits...
-
...bg was sucked into the black hole which appeared to be an obsolete alien Death Ray ultra killer ship. After examining the main computer he found out that the aliens had installed a system named dX 5MopuIM (alias windows xp - poor assholes read everyrthing upside down) and accessed all its systems. He made an infernal laugh and directed the ultra killer Death Ray ship to the Earth. When the ship reached the planet billy boy smiled and pushed a HUGE FIRE DEATH RAY PLANET ANNIHILATOR BLASTA NEUTRON CANNON ((c)opyright) and laughed wickedly. But poor motherfucker forgot 'bout his shitty OS on board of the ship - and instead of blasting the shit out of the Earth with a DEATH RAY PLANET ANNIHILATOR BLASTA NEUTRON CANNON ((c)) the ship suddenly self-destructed, vaporising BG...
-
who went to hell, followed shortly by Tux and Kiba, who took revenge on him by killing him and bringing back to life and then killing him again and going back to hell to kill him again. This continued for forty years until...
-
Rambo comes in and blows the fuck out of everything, then decides to open a up a barber shop but since everyone blew up the business failed so he....
-
joined kiba and tux in their unending search for revenge until finaly they had killed gates so many times that he apeared in netherhell where he was put on the most creulest of devices watching as everyone used linux and apple products while he was forced to use his own shitty os andwas made to write astory with a knife up his but for giving bill such a harch punishment kiba and tux were reborn and had been granted a wish whilst rambo was reborn with a brain
tux and kiba wished for the rebirth of linus travalds when he was reborn he, kiba and tux were democratically crowned kings they stayed together uniting the world untill the aleins returned.......................................... :eek:
-
... and blew everything up to make some space hor the hyperspace highway. Fortunately, the mice are rescued by Ford Prefect, so they clone the planet, losing all data about the meaning of life. However, they successfully reinstalled Life 2.1 and Humans 8.5 from a backup copy made a few hours ago. Hell 6.66 was corrupted, so it wasn't installed properly, and Bill Gates was overwritten.
[ August 15, 2003: Message edited by: Laukev7 ]
[ August 15, 2003: Message edited by: Laukev7 ]
-
unfortunately this new society wanted to learn the secrets of old earth so a group of them reversed time. (stupid huh ) they realised they could not reverse time their presence caused a anomaly which scared away the aleins.
kiba and tux joined forces with them for the next wave of the aleins attack they also curopted their superior technology with a virus called windows.
they could use their thrusters to which was lame the war would still continue but
-
everyone would wear pink hats while they fought, the aliens included. As a result, history knew this war as The War of the Shrubberies. After the war had finally ended 600 years later the galaxy looked like a piece of swiss cheese,
-
then homer simpson ate the universe. while he did this he was heard saying" mmm cheese"
it wasn't until...
-
the entire universe was reborn and everything went in a continuous cycle until the universe stopped recreating itself ending all time and all existence
-
well until the next episode that is.
stay tuned to see...
-
The story shall not end here
suddenly this ninja came out wailing on his guitar and then like 900 pirates showed up and the ninjas and the pirates started fighting, until robots attacked so the pirates and ninjas formed an alliance and called each other ninrates and they were able to fight off the robots, until...
-
the robots made their own alliance with the astronauts, call themselves astrobots. For many months it seemed that the war would go on forever, until a secret weapon was unveiled, called...
-
ROY it was an acronym. Though no one knew what it stood for. ROY was instrumental for the ninrates victory because the stupid robotd tried to overclock ROY and they got their shit ruined. For many millenia the ninrates flourished and built a strong economy by selling trinkets made of astrobot bodies. Then suddenly this guy with a shirt made of chrome appeared claiming he was from the future....
-
when in actuality he was from the past. He had stolen the time machine from someone in the far future who had visited his time period. As he made everyone believe he was from the future but not giving anything away about it (he claimed he was preserving the time line) he collected as many little high-tech gadgets as he could because he wanted to put them in museums when he got back to the future, or so he said. He waved goodbye to everyone and departed back through his time machine and went back to his own time period where he sold and patented all of the high tech gadgets and became disgustingly rich, so rich that by the end of his life he owned 32 galaxies and had made amusement parks out of 24 of them. But unfortunately this completely destroyed the timeline where he had collected the gadgets in the first place, which made all his money cease to exist and he lived out the rest of his short life in an alley doing characatures of people. The timeline was effected in no way.
-
the two leaders of the oposite sides macman and the stiller decided on a peace treaty and again stupidly
decided to find out the secrets of the previous earth of their orogin and history repeated itself but this time god intervened and made tux and kiba and linus travalds indistructable everyone was wearing matrix stile clothes and lukev7 borrowed some armor from macman so he also mecame indistructable so all forces united to destroy the aleins who this time had come back twice as strong because they didn't have the windows virus so the whole team lukev7,macman,stiller,kiba,tux and linus travalds fought and destroyed the alien armies over a 60 year period the evil was conquered. untill the next evil arived but team microsuck had conquered all.
-
The team decided they were tired of fighting so they built this big kickass spaceship so that they could run away from everything. The spaceship was built so that it could be expanded if population increased or everyone became a giant. After 75 years of building all of the ninrates got on and flew around through space....
-
...and right into a black hole. Every last ninrate was killed in the accident, leaving the astrobots to control the galaxies.