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Miscellaneous => The Lounge => Topic started by: Bazoukas on 13 November 2002, 04:14

Title: What we have learned from Porn.
Post by: Bazoukas on 13 November 2002, 04:14

WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED FROM PORN:


1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not
scream with embarassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women make noise..
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted).
16. Double penetration makes a woman smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend doesn't knock the shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriends mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend,
she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches....or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all
parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other
proudly on his hip.

Title: What we have learned from Porn.
Post by: Master of Reality on 13 November 2002, 07:25

this sounds like sarcasm....you mean those things arent true!!!!!!!!!!??

and remember... ponytails are called "power steering"

[ November 12, 2002: Message edited by: The Master of Reality / B0B ]

Title: What we have learned from Porn.
Post by: HPC GUY on 13 November 2002, 07:33

classic  :D

Title: What we have learned from Porn.
Post by: TheQuirk on 13 November 2002, 07:34

I think I read that on everything2.com

Title: What we have learned from Porn.
Post by: Kintaro on 13 November 2002, 15:06

Most of its true,

Title: What we have learned from Porn.
Post by: Calum on 13 November 2002, 15:55

that was very good indeed, i hadn't learned some of those lessons before, but now i am much wiser!

Title: What we have learned from Porn.
Post by: Crunchy(Cracked)Butter on 13 November 2002, 18:07

True, true.

Best laugh i have had all day, it does point out the stupid impossible things that happen in pr0n!

Title: What we have learned from Porn.
Post by: lazygamer on 13 November 2002, 19:09

LMAO! That's hilarious! Pornstar(male)=best job in the world!

Porn totally rules! So much of it! So many different flavors, ranging from alternatives to stuff you don't even wanna know about.  ;)

Title: What we have learned from Porn.
Post by: The Auditor on 13 November 2002, 19:46

ROFL
Best laugh ive had all week!
Thanks for that..

ill have to remember that those things arent actually true.. i was wondering why my girlfriend keeps looking at me weird.. LOL

The Auditor