quote:
Bob Manifesto
This will teach you the ways of Bob, what shall we do?; not very much. The best plans are always the simple ones, and that is why the cult of Bob is so perfect. As a member of the cult of Bob your role is simple:
* You will, at all convenient opportunities chant the words "We are all bob" many times, in a zombified manner.
* You will attempt to convert many other people into chanting with you. First they will think it's funny, then they will get addicted to it. Then you should direct them to www.bobs.tk or www.cultofbob.tk, where they will become a member of the Bob cult.
* You will worship the Bob god, who goes under the name of Bob. Bob is a female, but that does not matter, as the cult of Bob is not gender specific. All races, genders, and animals may join with us, to create an army of Bobs, united in our cause of descriminating against NO-ONE, except non-bobs. They must be converted, or destroyed.
* You should, in time, lose as many braincells as possible. Drinking in excess, going to heavy metal clubs, or banging your head against the wall is a good way of achieving this. The cult of Bob should ideally be very stupid, and unified in their mission of chanting "we are all Bob".
* You may sacrifice food to the bob god. The Bob god likes cheese, spam, salami and alcohol. Eating or sacrificing hamsters is a good way of worshipping your god.
* You should be happy and friendly to your fellow Bob clan. The cult of Bob will be unified in our mission, and any one with a bad word to say about another Bob will be tortured and slowly garrotted. No-one is to discriminate against another bob, no matter their colour, race, sexuality, features, or dubious smell. We WILL have utopia, by any means necessary.
* You will not have to give your life savings or get rid of any of your possesions, The cult of Bob is a spiritual cult, not a material one, e.g. we have no money. Due to this reason, we cannot provide members with t-shirts or keyrings either, sorry about that.
So that is what your role as a bob will entail. It's effortless, fun, you're destined to be happy, your destined to be Bob, we are all Bob!
do any of those really sound dictorial as the "doctrines" (aka Laws, rules, oppressive views) of integrational polytheism??
quote:
* You will, at all convenient opportunities chant the words "We are all bob" many times, in a zombified manner.
say a couple words when ya feel like it. Fun words.. whats wrong with that??
quote:
* You will attempt to convert many other people into chanting with you. First they will think it's funny, then they will get addicted to it. Then you should direct them to www.bobs.tk or www.cultofbob.tk, where they will become a member of the Bob cult.
get some other people to drink and say a few words with you. not too bothersome.
quote:
* You will worship the Bob god, who goes under the name of Bob. Bob is a female, but that does not matter, as the cult of Bob is not gender specific. All races, genders, and animals may join with us, to create an army of Bobs, united in our cause of descriminating against NO-ONE, except non-bobs. They must be converted, or destroyed.
We are against descrimination
quote:
* You should, in time, lose as many braincells as possible. Drinking in excess, going to heavy metal clubs, or banging your head against the wall is a good way of achieving this. The cult of Bob should ideally be very stupid, and unified in their mission of chanting "we are all Bob".
Drinking and listening to music... whats wrong with that? Not many people dont liek drinking. and the term "heavy metal" can mean anything in your opinion such as bach, garth brooks, or black sabbath.
quote:
* You may sacrifice food to the bob god. The Bob god likes cheese, spam, salami and alcohol. Eating or sacrificing hamsters is a good way of worshipping your god.
you *may* sacrifice food. You can sacrifice it by eating, who doesnt eat??
quote:
* You should be happy and friendly to your fellow Bob clan. The cult of Bob will be unified in our mission, and any one with a bad word to say about another Bob will be tortured and slowly garrotted. No-one is to discriminate against another bob, no matter their colour, race, sexuality, features, or dubious smell. We WILL have utopia, by any means necessary.
Be happy and friendly to others... again we say that we shall not treat eachother in a hurtful manner.
quote:
* You will not have to give your life savings or get rid of any of your possesions, The cult of Bob is a spiritual cult, not a material one, e.g. we have no money. Due to this reason, we cannot provide members with t-shirts or keyrings either, sorry about that.
you dont have to give your money or any catches. Unlike IP which makes you give your precious time to wait for their forum to load.
thats it... that is a bobs role, what so hard about that. Dont you want everyone to get along Calum? What do you have against our Utopia. Do you know that another man was againt our utopia, his name was Adolf Hitler.
[ November 21, 2002: Message edited by: bob ]
