i thought about it.
i dont want to go back, ive considered everything my cognition engenders.
daniel farmilo is at school, he is the only one who can help me, and my fathers at work. its 9:51 here and its work time for everyone. nobody can help me and it has meticulously planned over a long peroid of time.
this is not a sudden thing, its not a mood swing i dont even have a mood at the moment.
i keep breaking down into tears because i know how this hurt everyone when ed did it and how it hurt me but that doesnt matter at all because im sorry and that doesnt mean anything but im so fucked up and when you see all the stupid habits on my computer you will realise this was better and that nothing matters to me because i am the faceless scum of the earth i will hurt someone if i dont do this and ill hurt more people if i dont but the way i could hurt people could send them into what i did and this is a sacrafice for what is morally right